Saturday 23 August 2008

Engagement ceremony in Brunei custom


23 August 2008


Last night in Brunei, daddy attended an engagement ceremony of his cousin (that makes her our aunt, right?). It's not the usual "Will you marry me" type that we always see on television (however that might have happened between the couple). In our tradition, the family members of the groom-to-be usually comes to the lady's house to meet up with her family and ask for her hand in marriage. The number of family members depends on prior arrangement between the two families; some prefer to hold the ceremony in private, while some others like to share the happy moments with more relatives. In last night's case, it was a moderate size ceremony, with around 100 people altogether (both families).

The family members (it's unusual that the groom-to-be comes along) brings with them two rings, one as a 'pembuka mulut' (literally translated as mouth opener), and one as the official engagement ring. Together with each ring is a sum of $100 each. Sometimes, the wedding date is fixed on the same day, while some prefer to have it open to future discussions.

Nevertheless, it is interesting to note that nowadays, most couples know each other first (being in a relationship, that is) before deciding to get engaged and consequently marry each other. From what we gather from our elders though, in the old times, arranged marriage is widely practised, and the bride and groom practically falls in love with each other after marriage. Amazingly, these arranged marriages always last a lifetime!

Anyway, here are some pictures of last night's ceremony. To aunt Fidah, congratulations... and you looked stunning, as always!

Members of both families sit together to discuss about the engagement proposal. Some guests sit on the sofas/chairs and some prefer to sit on the floor as is our tradition.


The bride-to be (wearing all pink) capturing the happy moments with her family members.

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